


Xenon Circumgyration

by Rag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Earth C, Explicit Sexual Content, Forgiveness, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Pesterlog, Post-Game(s), Sexual Tension, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rag/pseuds/Rag
Summary: dirk and jake decide to be friends again after the game





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i posted something by the same name earlier and ninja deleted it bc it needed a lot of work  
> heres the much improved version (imo)

You did it. You beat the game, saved the universe. It feels just about too good to be true. Everyone is absolutely chuffed, hugging and high fiving and chattering away in this new, safe place. There’s sun again, and grass and land, for the first time in years. There’s people and aliens. And there’s all of you, the players, elated by victory and the lifted burden of the constant fear of catastrophic failure. You’re pleased as punch.

Roxy grabs you by the hands and jumps up and down in place. “We did it! Jake, we did it! Holy shit! Can you believe it?”

“Hardly!”

“Shit! I have to get Jane! I have to get Callie! Where the fuck is Dirk? Fuck!” She looks around, waves frantically. You glance over to where she’s looking and see Dirk and Jane talking a few yards off, and they see the two of you and wave. “Get the hell over here, guys!” She bounces some more. It’s absolutely adorable, and you laugh out loud, which makes her laugh.

You’re surprised to find that her calling them over doesn’t send a sick dread through your gut anymore. Jane has avoided you like the plague since she cut you off, and you’ve been far too weak to try to contact her on pesterchum. And Dirk. You’ve seen Dirk off and on for the past few years. Sometimes he would pop by to gather intel, sometimes he would check in, sometimes you’d see him talking with Dave or Roxy. And you would always, always shrink back and hide behind whoever you were talking to, adjust yourself so that your back was facing him. It varied by the day whether this was motivated by fear or anger. Usually some mix of both.

Today, you’re inhibited by neither. Today, you can’t believe you’ve wasted so much time pussyfooting around him and Jane on the off chance that they’d rebuff your attempts to make amends. Life is too random for that. And you’re gods, you’re actual gods. You’ve defeated evil itself. You can handle this. You can’t understand why you’ve ever felt unable to handle this, when it just. Doesn’t matter.

When the two of them come up to join you and Roxy, you don’t shrink away. And they don’t turn to walk around when they see you. Dirk settles down right next to you, actually.

“Hey.”

“Hey? Hey? Are you serious, Di-Stri? We _saved the gotdamn universe_ and all’s you got for me is ‘hey?!’” Roxy cackles. “Fuck! Dude, gimme five at least!” She eagerly holds out her hand, and Dirk slaps it. Muted though he may be, he’s verily beaming, brighter than you’ve ever seen him before.

“I do say,” Jane says, “your reaction is more than a little muted, Dirk.”

“Shit, is this the part where I shuck off my reservations and strip naked in unbridled glee?”

“Oh, yes, please do,” Roxy says, nodding with a bright smile. You chortle. God. God, you love them both, you love the universe.

Dirk raises his eyebrows at Roxy.

Roxy waggles hers back.

Dirk starts to pull up his shirt.

“Don’t!” you say. “Good god, sir, ma’am, you must know a game of chicken between the two of you will only end in supreme humiliation for the both of you.”

Dirk pulls his shirt back down. “You make a good point, Jake. A really good point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Jane says. “Jake, you wicked boy, what have you done?!” she says, laughing.

“God, what a square. Fuck! We did it! Jane! Come here!” Roxy pulls Jane in for a tight hug and bounces happily. Jane makes a happy sound and bounces with her before they pull apart.

It’s like old times, but so much better. It’s like trickster mode, without the low-level fear of your lack of control. You never thought you’d have this with them again.

“I think some congratulations are in orde-“

“Oh, come here, you big nerd.” Jane pulls you over and hugs you. “I’m so glad you’re still alive.” Oh, that’s unexpected. “Can we start over?” she asks.

“I would love that, Janey girl.”

She laughs. “Well, please start by never calling me that again, you absolute tool!”

“Would you prefer Jane, the queen of the apes?”

“I would not!” she says, beaming.

“How about Jane, the destroyer of worlds?” Dirk asks.

“That’s better, definitely better than Jane the huntress, but kinda the opposite of what she is, isn’t it? Seeing as she literally just _saved_ all the worlds there were to be saved,” Roxy says. She looks between you and Dirk, then back at Jane. “Oh, shit! Jane, have you met Callie? I know you two have,” she says, pointing at you and Dirk.

“Callie? Who is that?”

“Shit, girl, you gotta meet her! She’s the best! Also we’re dating!”

“What?! Roxy, you’re dating a girl? You’re _gay?!_ ”

“Ughhh, Janey, you’re killing me! Follow me, we gotta talk!” She looks at you two and winks. “Guys, let’s reconvene later?”

You nod.

“Peace out,” Dirk says, flashing her a peace sign.

Roxy and Jane walk off.

“Kinda perfect timing, if I had to sit on this any longer I might have up and fucking imploded right here. What a waste of a happy ending, to die the minute after we get our prize.”

Your heart starts to race in anticipation and a little fear. You won the game, but you really don’t know what Dirk’s thought of you or the way you left off since you last spoke. And this could go well, or he could tell you he’d rather just not be around you anymore.

“It would be absolutely tragic,” you make yourself say, trying to keep the fear out of your voice. Whatever he says, you can take it. “You’d better let it out before it eats you right up.”

He takes a deep breath. “Really liked Jane’s idea, there. Wanna start over with me, too?”

“Oh, yes.” Fuck. You’re so relieved that it positively washes through you. “Yes, I’d like that a great deal.”

Dirk actually smiles. “Good. Shit didn’t end on the best footing with us. We both fucked up.”

“That we did.” Honestly, you think you fucked up a great deal more than he did, but you don’t really want to get into that now. You’re absolutely elated that he’s giving you this second chance, and elated with yourself for not shying away from it.

“We should take it slow this time. Think what killed us was how fast it was, last time.”

“Absolutely. Far too fast, and we were far too young.”

“Ha, yeah. You were literally the first person I ever met. Had no fuckin’ clue how to handle that shit. Wow, listen to me, getting fucking into it right now. Shit. Sorry.”

“You’re fine. No, you’re right, and likewise, I’d never met with anyone either, and… I’d like to start over with you.”

“Cool.” Dirk holds his hand out, and you give him a high five. He surprises you by grabbing your hand and pulling you in for a half-hug.

He’s. Very warm. And solid. The last two years have done him many a favor in the body arena. You were trying not to think too much about it, but if he was attractive before (and he was), he’s absolutely stunning now, all sharp, rugged angles where before he was soft and boyish. Oh, this isn’t good for taking it slow. This isn’t good for taking it slow at all. Luckily, he pulls away hardly a second later. You smile, and try to keep your embarrassing reaction to yourself.

“Good. You wanna go find Jane and Roxy again? Shit, no, have you met Dave?”

“I have not!” You’re glad to have something to talk about other than your relationship. You feel like if you dive into that well any deeper, you might have trouble pulling yourself out. “Is that your brother?”

“Fuck yeah it is. Come on, follow me.”

He leads you to this little group where John is talking to a guy who looks enough like Dirk for you to assume is Dave – not to mention the dead giveaway that is the shades.

“Yo,” he says, as if you needed any further proof.

“And you must be Dave. I’ve heard a great deal about you – granted, most of it was about a version of you that you yourself are not. I’m Jake.”

Dave just stares at you for a long moment, then grins. He holds out his hand for a high five.

“Sick job with the fuzz, dude.”

“Thank you! And a decidedly “sick” job with Jack, yourself! We certainly wouldn’t be standing here right now were it not for your positively dilly mastery of your aspect.”

Dave stares at you for a moment, then laughs. “Shit, thanks. Dude, do you always talk like this? Like holy shit, what is that?”

Oh. Your smile falters a little. You’ve been trying so hard to talk the way they all talk, and you  really thought you were starting to get a handle on it.

“Yeah, that’s just how he talks,” Dirk says. “I’d think you’d be more understanding of speech variation, what with your friend of ‘cartilaginous hearing sphere’ fame.”

You have no idea what that means. But you’re really glad that Dirk said something, before you had to scramble for some kind of appropriate answer that wasn’t _yes, excuse you very much._

“Dude, shit, yeah, we all got accents and dialects all up in this bitch. Everyone’s got their own fuckin’ quirk of nature over here. Shit. Anyways. Dude, you wanna come with me and John? We’re gonna explore the hell outta this place. Oh, dude, we should get Karkat too. Fuck, stay here like five seconds.”

He zooms off before you can respond.

“You down?” Dirk asks you.

“Oh, absolutely. That sounds just grand.”

“Sweet.”

*

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] started pestering golgothasTerror [GT] –

TT: Hey.

TT: Today was fun. It was really good to talk to you again. And hang out with you and everything.

TT: Shit felt good. Shit felt organic. Shit felt like free range chickens with enough space to do more than shit and lay.

TT: I wanted to ask before I forgot.

TT: Do you want me to tell Dave that you’re sensitive about the dialect thing?

TT: He doesn’t mean any shit by it, he’s a good dude, he legit thinks you’re doing it on purpose.

TT: You’ve made a lot of progress on it, by the way.

TT: I remember you were starting to try to get rid of it when we stopped talking. You’ve come a really far way since then.

TT: You don’t need to mask it, though.

TT: I mean, I get why you would want to. But you don’t need to.

TT: Shit, sorry, I’m really just going on here, aren’t I. Just a lot to catch up on.

TT: I’ll wait for you to respond before I ramble myself off a fucking bridge here.

Your heart races just seeing his text again. You never thought any of this would happen. The day was wonderful, with him and his brother and John and Karkat. Exploring the new land. Like old times, but so, so much better.

And now, here he is, checking in after. It’s. Very good. Incredibly good, and exciting.

(take it slow, man! don’t let your impulses override your common sense! just as he says, he has a lot to say. don’t get your hopes up.)

You take a deep breath to gather yourself before typing out your response.

GT: Oh, hello, Dirk!

GT: I know what you mean. I hope youre not too terribly embarrassed, because there really is more than enough for the two of us to catch up on. Dont worry about these messages.

GT: Thank you. Thank you very much. Yes, I have been working on it all this time. I… I’m not sure if I should take you up on that offer. Should probably bring it up to him myself, should the situation arise.

GT: Frankly, I feel like you diffused it pretty well as it was.

TT: Okay, let me know if you change your mind on that.

GT: I will.

TT:

You see him starting to type something and delete it several times.

TT: Cool.

TT: I’ll see you around.

GT: Yeah. Im looking forward to it, Dirk.

You type out _I missed you_ , but decide to delete it. It’s just too much, too soon, and it’s not taking things slow.

GT: Ill see you later. Maybe some time this week?

TT: Yeah. That sounds good. Bye, Jake.

GT: Bye.

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] –=

*

You dream about him that night. You dream decidedly inappropriate things about him. Him sinking to his knees and wrapping his mouth around you, moaning in his desperate way. His bright, unshaded eyes looking up at you piercingly, fogged over with lust. He begs you to let him touch himself, or fuck him, or something.

_Use me, Jake._

_Fuck me. I need it. I’m ready, just fuck me. Please._

Dream-Dirk sits on your lap, sinks on your dick and groans.

_Fuck me, please, take over, I want you to take over, I can’t wait any more._

You wake up rutting against your bed and you groan. Because now it’s weird. If you had just stayed asleep another few minutes, you could have finished up that neat little fantasy, and blamed the entire thing on your subconscious.

But it’s just a fantasy, isn’t it? There’s no shame in that. And Dirk would never have to know. You wrap your hand around yourself and call back that soft, dreamy version of Dirk, bouncing on your lap. You’d give him what he asked for. You’d pick him up and wrestle him down, and fuck him until he screamed. He’d keep asking for harder, more, faster, because he always liked it rough, just on the edge of too much. You spill into your hands imagining him starting to come, moaning your name. How he’d squeeze and spasm around you.

And then you come to, dirty and filled with some mild shame and dread. You remind yourself that it was only a fantasy. You and Dirk are taking things exactly as slowly as you need to, and this little indiscretion never has to play any part in the relationship you two have to each other. It’s fine.

You wipe off your hand and go to shower off for the morning. When you open your phone, you see several missed messages from Roxy.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

TG: dude you doing anything tonight

TG: if so cancel it

TG: you now got something way better going on

TG: jaaaaaake where are you answer your phone

GT: Excuse me! I think ill decide that for myself!

GT: Should i take this to mean youre inviting me to something?

TG: sure should

TG: only the best party in the UNIVERSE

TG: everyones gonna be there like EVERYONE and im gonna provide….. refreshments ;)

GT: Er, not to be rude, but is that… is that a good idea?

TG: psch yeah im providing not partaking

TG: im a big girl jake i can handle myself around a drink without boozing myself into next week

TG: (ty for the concern tho ilu)

TG: are u free tho pls come itll be fun and like 500x more fun if youre there

GT: You flatter me. But, absolutely. I would be thrilled. Ill see you there.

TG: fuckin sick hell yeah

TG: come to my place around 7

TG: 8 if u wanna be “fashionably late” but dont do that come at 7

GT: Okay, will do. Ill see you there at…. Is 7:15 a reasonable compromise between fashionably timely and tardy?

TG: shits the most fashionable ive ever seen someone needs to sign you up for a modelling contract stat

TG: see u then dude

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] –-


	2. Chapter 2

Which brings you to Roxy’s party. Wherein you perhaps drink more than you should, faster than you should, because the sheer magnitude of the guests absolutely overwhelms your common sense. You don’t do good in crowds, you never have. You don’t to any better in loud, raucous crowds of drunk gods, at least not without a fair bit of liquid courage in you. Then you can pop down out on the porch with Dave and John and beat your gums about finer points of the film Gattaca. Dave positively loses his mind.

“Did I save the world just to hear two of you shame-faced adoring awful movies for the rest of all eternity? Is this my karmic punishment? What did I do, God?”

“Dave, I thought you liked Gattaca!”

“Literally no, never, why would I even.”

“You told me you did!”

“I did no such thing.”

“Dave, did you?” you ask.

“No.”

“Methinks the man doth protest too much.”

“Fuck! I was 13 years old! I was only human.”

You laugh. You were honestly just pulling his leg, you didn’t expect this. You frankly can’t imagine why he would go so far as to hide enjoying a movie. Then again, he’s a Strider. He looks at you.

“If I give you something you can’t refuse, do you swear to never speak of this again?”

“I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be privy to this information, frankly.”

“Wow, stone cold. I’m trying to be nice, dude. Take the cigarette.”

He hands you a black-dyed cigarette that smells like rich spices.

“What is this?”

“It’s got cloves in it. Isn’t that weird? Shit’s insane on this planet. Can you believe that? We made the best world. Here.” He hands you a lighter, and you draw the stuff in.

 “Oh goody, this is positively exquisite,” you tell him.

“Right?”

“Are you guys high? That smells awful.” John pinches his nose. “I’ll meet you back inside.”

Dave gives him a little wave and he heads in.

“Sorry for making fun of your accent yesterday. Dick move.”

“Oh, thank you. Did Dirk…”

Dave waits for you to say the rest.

“Did he mention it to you?”

“No?”

“Oh. Very well.”

“Nah, you just seemed upset when I thought about it for more than half a second. Were you and Dirk talkin’ shit about me?” He gasps. “So uncool.”

“We were not! We were simply catching up on a day well spent, and you came up over the course of things.” Oh, you need to shut your trap, this is strange. Damn liquor.

Dave raises his eyebrows. He seems like he’s about to say something, but the door opens and someone steps out before he can speak.

“Hey,” Dirk says. He looks more relaxed than usual. He sets his drink on the balcony edge and leans on it between the two of you.

“Hey yourself.”

Dave looks between the two of you.

“I forgot something inside, actually. Gonna go do it.”

He leaves, taking his drink with him. Weird.

“What’s that?” Dirk asks, pointing at the bogey between your fingers.

“Clove, apparently. It’s from your brother.” Without thinking, you hold it out to him.

He grabs it with his long, thin fingers and takes a draw, brushing your hand with his. Only when you take it back do you realize how intimate it is to share this. That his thin lips were wrapped around the butt of the thing. Haha, butt, lips. Don’t think about him moaning when you ate him out, that’s weird. Don’t think about the fact that the two of you would both taste like clove if you kissed right now – fuck, you’re making it so, so very weird, you have to nip this right in the bud here. You refuse to acknowledge your thoughts, or the fact that you see the little tensing in his arms as he apparently realizes the same thing.

He coughs a little. Not from the smoke, just an awkward little clearing of his throat that does nothing to dissolve the tension.

“Good shit. I’ll have to nab one off him later.”

“Hah, yeah.”

It’s quiet for a while, and you finish up your cigarette slowly. You look up at the night sky, which is really quite a sight with sparse clouds and a full moon, and the balcony offers an incredible view of the forest below. You rack your brain for something to say and fail, because all you can think about is, _why are we holding ourselves back from this? What’s the plan here? Do we really need to self-censor here?_

Yes. Yes, Jake, you really need to self-censor here. You’re taking it slow. You stub the end of your cigarette out on the concrete porch floor.

“Do you want to head back inside?” you ask.

“Nah. It’s nice being out here with you.”

Against all your better judgement, your face flushes.

You absolutely want him, and there’s no point in denying that. And when he says things like that, when you’re in this state, and in that tone of voice that… you might be delusional, but you swear you pick up a little bit of… something in his voice, and it’s hard to think straight. But you have to. This isn’t like old times. You’re not dating, and you’re taking your newfound friendship slowly.

“I should probably go back in,” you say.

“Why?” Dirk asks. Okay, you’re definitely not delusional about his voice. It’s quiet and intimate, even though it’s just the two of you out here. It sends a shiver down your back.

“I don’t trust myself around you right now,” spills out of your mouth before you can think about it. Fuck. Well, no going back from here. “I’ll ‘make it weird,’ as you say.” You laugh awkwardly.

Dirk swallows, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Don’t say that. Fuck.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t… Just, do you know how hard it is to not fuckin…” He trails off. Bites his lip.

“To not what?”

“You know.”

Oh.

You swallow. Your thoughts scream. You’re not imagining it, are you? He wants you.

You should drop this. You should go back inside.

You shouldn’t do this.

“Tell me.”

He steps a little closer to you. Talks low and quiet right into your ear. “I think you know exactly what, Jake.”

You try to calm the stirring in your pants, but having him so close to you, after so long, whispering to you like this, it’s impossible. You try to think, slow down your rapidly increasing breaths.

He wants you. He wants you again, as bad as you want him.

You hear him breathe deeply – taking in your scent, you realize with a start – and he tentatively starts to kiss at your neck. Soft, open, sucking slightly. You gasp and grasp at his hip. It feels like fire.

“You look fuckin amazing, Jake. You smell so good. And fuck, your voice…”

You dig your fingers into his skin. “Dirk…”

“Tell me to stop.”

“No.”

You turn your head and kiss him. If this is a bad idea, you don’t care.

His lips are soft, warm and inviting. And familiar, even after so long. You run your hand down his smooth, muscled side and you squeeze, and revel in the gasp that draws out of him. The taste of his tongue darting out to taste you. He smells like the clove cigarette, and the liquor he’s drunk, and that smell he has underneath it all. He bites your lip and you moan out loud, and the stark sound of it echoing through the air reminds you where you are – on Roxy’s balcony. There’s a closed door between you and probably 75 people inside, and anyone could open it at any moment. And the windows. Oh, god, the windows, oops. The drapes are pulled all the way back and while it’s darker out here than it is inside, it’s not that dark, and people can probably see you.

 “We shouldn’t do this here,” you say.

“We shouldn’ do this at all.”

“Do you want to stop?”

He doesn’t answer. He kisses you again, and you get lost in it for solidly too long. He makes it damn easy to forget everything around you. But the windows. Windows where anyone who happens to look out in your direction has already seen you sucking face with your ex. God. You’re going to die. You pull away.

“We _can’t_ do this here.” You gesture to the window. It at least seems like no one is staring right now. Dirk looks over.

“Oh, shit. Yeah, that’s a problem.” He pulls himself away from you, and you resist the urge to pull him back. _Don’t go_. “You wanna go back to my place?”

*

One of the perks of flying is that the mile-long journey from Roxy’s to Dirk’s apartment takes about two minutes. Bonus: you don’t have to go back into the party, leaving together after that display. Really, a win-win scenario all around.

Dirk fumbles with his keys and opens up. You press him to the door the second you step inside and kiss him.

He tastes so good. You missed him, missed this, so much. He runs his hands down your body like he’s scanning you with his fingertips, trying to learn every new inch of you. You shiver. You missed this. God, you missed this so much. He tries to kiss you so close that your glasses clank together, and he shocks you by just. Taking his shades off. Unprompted. You used to have to ask, multiple times (and you realized that you should have stopped after one gently-worded question, instead of hounding him like a buffoon), and sometimes even then he would leave them on during sex. Not this time. He folds them up and tosses them aside gently like it’s no big deal, and takes your face in both hands and kisses your slightly-open mouth.

You feel your cock stirring, and feel him half hard pressing against you. Dirk runs his fingers through your hair, sending sparks through you as he tugs a little and he kisses you senseless. You can’t think about anything but him. You want to get closer to him. You hike his shirt up and touch his bare skin again for the first time in years, listen to him gasp. You slide your hands down to his pants and start to undo the buttons. He’s already hard, and when you slide your palm into his underwear he gasps and arches into it. You suck at his neck and listen to him groan.

“Jake…” That, yeah, you want more of that. He kisses you again, it’s like he can’t get enough of your mouth.

“I want to suck you off.”

“Fuck, do it, please…”

You drop to your knees and pull his underwear down. You kiss at his dick – which is bigger than you remember, oh god, you’re really doing this to him right now – and hold the base steady to take him in. He tightens his hand in your hair and drink in his sounds and praises. You grab his hand and he squeezes it as you suck at him. Your cock throbs and you rub at it in your pants just to stop it from aching.

You didn’t do this nearly enough when you were together. You don’t know if there’ll be a repeat after tonight, but you want to at least start to make that up to him. You take him down deep, rub what your throat can’t reach with your hand, keep the suction soft like you remember he likes. He’s bigger than he used to be, but he makes the same desperate noises.

He stops you in what feels like hardly any time at all. He pulls you off and groans as you gasp for breath.

“Don’t wanna blow my load right now. Fuck, you’re too good at that, you feel to good…”

You flush with warmth as he helps you up. Fuck, this is bad, this is so dangerous. He kisses you, and even though he used to hate kissing after a sucking he doesn’t comment on it, and doesn’t seem any less enthusiastic than he was before about licking into your mouth and biting at your lips. He takes your hand and brings you to his bedroom. The two of you tear your clothes off, stumbling as you do, and roll in. With him under you, you realize something, and can’t stop yourself from laughing.

“What?”

“Is this the first time we’re having it off on a bed?”

He thinks about that for a second. “Shit, I think it is. The fuck was wrong with us?” You barely stop yourself from asking if he’s gone the limit with anyone else before, if he’s done it in this bed. “Damn if this ain’t my first time in a fuckin’ bed at the ripe ol’ age of 20.”

Oh. Well, that answers that question. “Well, that’s just ducky, because it makes two of us.”

He pulls you in for another kiss.

You find yourself rutting against him a little, just enough to get some relief. He reaches out to his bedside table and opens a drawer. Pulls out a dark bottle and throws on the bed, then pulls out a foil-wrapped condom.

“Holy shit, you’re gonna fuck me. This is stupid.”

Apparently the alcohol, or maybe the excitement, maybe both, is getting to him, for him to run his mouth like this. It’s amusing. You missed this, too, rare treat that it was.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Are you sure?”

You look him over, the tight, muscled skin, his cheeks flushed with blood, his cock jutting out from between his legs, and the helplessly open look on his face.

“Positive.” You kiss him, and he wraps his arms around you. You rut together like that for a while, forgetting everything else but just the dull, sweet ache between your legs and the familiar warmth of each other’s bodies. He spreads his legs and opens himself up sloppily. Rushed.

“I wish I could eat you out right now,” you hear yourself saying, before you can even think about it. Oops.

Dirk gasps and shoves another finger in himself.

“Later, please, please do it.”

“Absolutely,” you say, even though you know, and you know he knows, that there might not be a ‘later.’

You slip the condom on and he pulls his fingers out. He rolls over on his hands and knees and holds himself open for you.

You push in. It’s so much better than you ever remembered. And the sound he makes, and the way his muscles clench and his fingers grab at the bedsheets…

 “Fuck. Fuck, fuck.”

“Is it too much?” you ask. You lay on top of him, kiss at his neck. Part of you wants to just hammer into him, but you force yourself not to. You never want to hurt him again.

“No. Fuck me. Slow. Fuck, Jake.”

You pull out and then back in. Is this really happening? Fuck.

“More.”

He reaches down and starts to jerk himself off under you. He sounds so good. He’s making all these fucking groans and whimpers every time you push in. You remember how much he liked praise. You whisper in his ear.

“You’re so good, Dirk.”

He gasps.

“You’re perfect. You feel amazing. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Yes, yes yes, me too, _mm_ , fuck-“

You fuck him, slow and hard. It feels completely natural. Your bodies were made to fit together like this, to rock and move with each other, wring this pleasure from each other. You take your time, let it build slowly, whisper encouragements and praises in his ear and feel him tighten around you. You try to hold out as long as you can, but it’s inevitably too much, and you bury yourself deep and hard in him as you black out.

As soon as you come to, you pull out of him, roll him over and take him in your mouth. You put your fingers in him, crook them and rub that spot inside him that makes him arch, and drink in the obscenities he hollers at you as he’s overwhelmed by pleasure. He grabs at your head and pulls your hair hard as he thrashes. It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect.  You swallow down his release and curl up beside him when he’s done trembling.

He kisses you. You kiss him back, until you fall asleep in his arms.

*

When you wake up the next day, it’s in an unfamiliar bed, and with an unfamiliar warmth behind you, an unfamiliar arm wrapped around your waist. It takes you a second to remember everything that happened last night. And then you tense up because, god, you bungled it, didn’t you? You really fucking bungled it.

You feel Dirk rousing behind you, and then feel his loose, relaxed posture go rigid.

You swallow. You don’t know what to say. You turn to face him, and god if he isn’t just as gorgeous as you remember last night – no! Bad thought! Begone!

“It appears that we fucked,” he says blankly.

You chortle. You can’t stop yourself. You see him smirk and stretch.

“Yep, definitely feels like we fucked.”

“You do remember, don’t you?” you ask, still laughing, but honestly worried that the answer will be _no, and jokes aside please leave and don’t come back because we can’t be trusted to be in the same room without fucking this up._

“Every bit of it.” He smiles as he says it, and it’s stupid but it just. It feels so good, to be like this again, you can’t stop yourself from beaming.

Smiling, he leans forward and kisses you. You wrap your arms around him. Yes. Yes, more of this. Sober, you can take in the feeling of his skin in a sharp, sparkling way you were missing last night. And you feel electric shivers everywhere his fingers touch you, and shudder when he flicks his thumb over your nipple.

“We probably shouldn’t do this again,” he says, but his voice is warm and playful. He pulls back to look at you and gauge your reaction.

“Absolutely not. An atrocious idea. Can you remind me why, though?”

His eyes are gorgeous. It’s rare that you see them. You can’t stop staring at them, and the rest of him, warm with morning sun, naked and vulnerable. He seems to be searching for an answer.

“Can’t seem to remember. What I do remember is that I owe you some from last night.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to.”

Your heartbeat races in your chest. You shouldn’t, but you kiss him. And he kisses you back.

You can figure out the rest later.


End file.
